The Beginning

Okay, my first ever post on my first ever blog.  Why am I doing this??  Where will I find time to keep up with it??  Who the hell knows, but here we go.....  :)

For those of you who live in a bunker underground, I am very involved with dog sports and have numerous border collies here on my farm.  The leader of the pack is Maggie, a 15 year old border collie who doesn't take any crap from anyone....  human... canine... inanimate... her reflection in a mirror...  ANYTHING!!  She was my very first border collie.  My mother bought her for me when I was 15.  Before this, I had boxer dogs......  BIG DIFFERENCE!  The life lessons Maggie has taught me have been numerous, humbling, and sometimes painful.  I have learned so much from this spunky little hellion.

Picture from Alissa Behn  www.pet-personalities.com

Back in her day, Maggie and I trained and ran dog agility.   My job was to run, and be sure to tell her where to go.  Her job....  was to run, and tell ME where to go... hell.  Either way, I had a BLAST playing with that little dog.  She would sometimes jump from the top of the a-frame, skid across the pause table, or just completely miss the obstacle and bite me in the leg.  I would laugh so hard my eyes would water (of this my mother was not to amused.)  

Now she is retired.  Being the rough old age of 15 she doesn't get around very well, and has lost most of her hearing.  As a matter of fact her eyesight isn't that great either.  She has a heart murmur, liver enzyme issues, and kidney issues.  Her heart medicines make her consistently thirsty.  She is barely continent.  BUT she is STILL feisty and NAUGHTY!!

So while we take the younger generation to the agility trials, I have come to the habit of leaving her in the care of my father in our absence.  My father LOVES her and she has him wrapped around her little arthritic paw.....  which brings us to this weekends story. 

Ok, I'm sitting....  What do you want???  Hrmpf!

So, this weekend while we were about an hour down the road at an agility trial, Maggie was looking pathetic in her crate and my dad took the bait (as usual).  He told me upon returning from the show on Friday evening, that he let Maggie out of her crate to roam the house on her own (which happens frequently) and that he thought it was better for her.  I reminded him that she is not just a good old well behaved dog.  That she is INDEED quite NAUGHTY and needs to be watched for naughtiness.  He told me that I was crazy.  "Maggie is not capable of such naughtiness due to her advanced age."  Yeah, right.  I have had this dog for FIFTEEN YEARS....  I think I know a thing or two about her antics.

The very next day, Tim (my husband) and I are off to the agility trial again.  Today it seems that Maggie found a pathetic enough face to encourage dad to let her out and roam the house again.  My dad of course thinks that she can do no wrong (how quick he forgets her pulling TWO pork roasts off his stove and devouring them), and of course....  What's Maggie going to do???  She's FIFTEEN!  So he lets her out of the crate, and promptly returns to his apartment in the downstairs of our duplexed house.  

Upon our return home, I find out that Maggie CLIMBED UP ON TOP OF A 3 FOOT TALL CRATE and ate a POUND of Plato Organic Chicken treats AND drank the gallon of water in the big dog bowl in the kitchen.  (Real smart, Dad.)  

Who???  Me???  Naw!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 pound of treats + 1 gallon of water = Well, lets just say the next morning was very "crappy".

After her SECOND bath of the morning (keep in mind we are supposed to return to the dog show again this day and we are ALREADY late), I decided that some chemical (drug) help is needed to improve her icky belly.  I grabbed a metronidazole pill out of my doggie medicine bag, and put it in some cheese.  She promptly caught on to my tactic and ate the cheese while spitting out the pill.  I tried this approach THREE more times with different cheeses and ways of burying the pill.  No success....  she spit it out.  

UGH!!!  I'm late, I'm frustrated, my patience left me 2 cheeseballs ago.  So, my decision was to pill her (shove it down her throat) which I do all the time, but do not really like to do because it is not a positive experience for the dog.  But SHE should of thought of that THREE cheeseballs ago......

I take the pill, open her mouth, and she morphs from this cute old border collie into a clicking teeth Cujo!  She bit so fast she looked like one of those wind up tooth toys that hop around and clack.  OMG!!  With hands bleeding, and time ticking I realize that this method is my only option without giving up and leaving my DAD of all people with a walking four legged poop machine.  

Ok......  REAL QUICK.   Get it over with fast.....  OUCH!!!!  ARGH!!!  Let go of my thumb!!!!  SUCCESS!!

So as Tim quickly finished putting our stuff into the van, I discussed with my dad the consequences of a loose, unmonitored Maggie.  He agreed that she is not to be out unless monitored.....  finally.  

Maggie is fine now....  in fact she is sleeping at my feet.  :)  

Lesson learned:  The older they get.....  the easier it is for them to outsmart you!!